Sunday, April 4, 2010

3 Wonky-Looking Embryos...



But I love them, anyway.

We transferred these three yesterday morning. It was easy peasy, no pain involved, which was a relief for a first time IVFer.

We ended up with 8 embryos, one more than originally had fertilized, that made it to day 5, but not to blastocyst. I understand that morula is the stage before blast, but the embryologist started to call them "arrested" then stopped, saying that she picked the three best. So are they arrested, or are they not? Why don't they look like other morulas I see photos of? Neither the Doctor nor the embryologist seemed to like the way these embryo's looked, but they both said there was still a chance. They appear to have stopped growing on day 3 or 4, or maybe they were just going very slow.. but they didn't look so good. All wonky. Also they said the other 5 (which looked pretty darn similar to these 3) were not in good enough shape to freeze.. I kept asking for explanations and getting these unclear answers, I had the embryologist come back twice to clarify things, and I still feel confused. Like, if they are good enough to transfer why are they not good enough to freeze? Why not see what happens if the remaining 5 were left to grow another day? No, they're not good enough for either of those things.. so why are we transferring them? I need to have yet another conversation with someone about this.

So, we transferred 3. We were planning on transferring 2, but the Dr said the way these looked, there was no way we are getting triplets. So boo. I really wanted triplets. Kidding. (I've got to be careful what I say... I realize having triplets certainly happens!)

After a lengthy conference with Dr Google, I have concluded that all the embryos were slow growers, with a lot of fragmentation. So, not very good quality in more ways than one. I wonder how this happened? We are using a 27 year old proven donor.

DH and I were both sick with colds over this transfer trip, cranky and just uncomfortable for the darn 7 hours of driving and the overnight hotel stay. Got a bruise on my voluptuous hip from the plastic seat belt thing, from sitting in the car for so long. I kept feeling hungry but nothing appealed to me. That has been going on for a few days now. Not even the chocolate cake that Molly recommended from Wegmans... I was so looking forward to trying a new chocolate thing, but for once, I actually felt aversion to it. Must be the hormones (I've been saying that sentence a lot lately!)

So here I am with these three embryos inside of me, wondering if I should have any hope at all.. or is it better not to? The same questions I see so many women asking on these blogs. I guess I just have another opportunity to practice letting go to the great mystery that is life.

I have a little hope. A teeny little flame of excitement that keeps burning. But it is very small.

8 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your transfer.

    Re embryo quality: IMO it doesn't matter whether an embryo is A grade perfect or D grade with fragmentation, you need the right embryo for it to work.

    **PG mentioned**

    I had transferred A grade embryos before with a negative result, so when I transferred 2 not so good embryos, I did not expect the BFP I got.

    Also transferring multiple embryos (eg 3) doesn't just mean triplets. I know of someone who had a 100% success rate at IVF & transferred 2 (IMO she shouldn't have done it... anyway) & is now pregnant with triplets. So even transferring 1 can end up as 2 even if embryo quality is bad.

    Sorry for the long post, but again good luck. I'll be following to see how you go.

    -From LFCA

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  2. Thanks Jules, Long posts ok with me..

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  3. Dear Rosie, So exciting! I will hopefully be in the IVF DE process very soon at age 46. I haven't started a blog yet, but will in the 2 months. I first had to have myomectomy and recover. From what I've read, the post from Jules seems normal - you could end up with delightful news! I'll say a prayer for you! ~ Michele

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  4. Did they recommend assisted hatching? Some embies do much better once they are in you as you are the optimal environment. The petri dish is just a dish and not all embies like the dish. Praying that this is the case and that at least snuggles in for a very nice comfy nine months. I wouldn't be trusting google too much.
    Probably should have told you the vanilla cake is also very delicious. DH likes it better than the chocolate.

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  5. Hi Rosie. Here from LFCA. I've heard of some wonky looking embryos making pretty adorable babies. My adorable donor embie daughter is the product of an aggressive transfer of formerly frozen day 2 embryos. We decided to just thaw and transfer instead of culturing. I was 46 when she was born. Motherhood is more amazing than I could ever imagine. Hoping this works and that your 2ww is bearable.

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  6. Hi Rosie,

    Here from LFCA. Good luck with this first cycle. Don't work yourself up about the embryo quality. As others have said, some embryos that aren't grade A still have a chance. And don't worry about your age. I, too, am in my late forties (49) and we are trying for our final DE FET in May or June.

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  7. Good luck! I'm your newest follower through Lost and Found.

    -K
    http://mypottyseat.blogspot.com/

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  8. Congratulations on a smooth, painless transfer...definitely great!!! Continue to hold to that hope...it's all we have to get us through this crazy roller coaster ride! Praying a perfect embryo or two are settling in for the long haul:)

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